why why why

And again I ask my self this over and over again, what have I accomplish up till now? Why does everyone out there wants to take what's mine or at least I thought was mine. Why can't everyone just find your own? Is it human nature wanting to take something away from others or am I just being stupid?

:(

Somehow it feels like you are drifting further and further away.

Mistakes

People make mistakes but I decide to make the worst of them all. Now all I'm left with is pain and sorrows. After going through so much only to realize that I've just cause myself the most important thing in my life. Honestly, it sucks, it sucks big time. It feels like shit and it's hard for me to pretend that I'm ok. Staring into space and thinking about the good old times makes me feel ashamed of myself and honestly I miss you so much. Sometimes I wish I knew better and made the right decision, that way we won't be in this situation and can live happily ever after. I miss you so much :'(

Good bye 2010, hello 2011

So the year 2010 has come to an end. What have I achieved in that year? Well nothing. Many things had been done and many words had been said in that year. Things that I'm not proud of doing and words that I'm ashamed that I said. So begins the new year, and apparently it's suppose to be my year, the year of the rabbit (according to Chinese zodiac). A new year means a new resolution. But the question is what IS my resolution for this new year? That I have yet to ask myself too. Well, nothing much left to rant about anymore about 2010, all I have to say for now is Happy New Year :)

2010

The day started out pretty much casual until a phone call came, my thoughts were running wild, beyond my control but somehow I manage to keep myself calm. The night before was great, had friends from Malaysia came down and we had fun at Zouk SG. It was a really great night so far, on of the best since I came to this shit hole. Too bad for me I had to be at work the next day otherwise the fun would have lasted till the next following day. But to my surprise it wasn't all that bad at work today, work load was little, finish the job quite early and highlight of the day, saw someone's foot got crush by a pallets weighing atleast 300kg. It's was totally random for me to be there when it happened. Was on the phone talking to the person I love, all of a sudden some guy just scream so loud and when I turn towards where the voice was coming from I saw a guy on the ground and a few other fellows were helping him to remove the pallets off his feet. Gosh that must have hurt like a bitch. I bet his leg was broken or crush cause he wasn't wearing any safety boots. I know it's kinda ironic but somehow rather I wish that I was that guy under that pallet at that moment....

My Lonely Little Blog

It really has been a while since i last visited this page. Well i guess i just have nothing much to rant about these days. Maybe i really don't. Even now i don't have anything to rant about in this blog. Been kinda busy with work these few weeks to the extend that i don't have time for myself or to go back home to JB. Yeah i really miss home so much, i miss home cooked food so much but you know what they say "a man got to do what a man got to do" well at least the company is nice enough to give me a box of mooncake which i don't even eat, LOL. Anyways, the job has been alright though, so far so good, no stress or what so ever, just the working schedule kinda sucks. But i can't blame them cause of the flights. Baby has been flying around the world more often now and i hardly get to see her now days but its alright cause thats what she does, thats her job :) Oh ya, and another thing that i'm actually proud about is that amazingly i smoke and consume alcohol wayyyyyyyyy less than i use to :D HORRAY!!!!!! Does it mean that i'm actually changing to be a better person or is it because i'm just sick of smoking and drinking already? hmmm NAH! i don't think so, LOL. Well if everything goes well, by the end of year 2012 i should be able to at least afford to get a place of my own, a place to call MY own house which I bought with MY own hard earn cash! muahahahahahahaha, well i hope i really can achieve it (keeping my fingers crossed), thats all for now i guess, oh yeah here is my new favorite quote "chao outside motherf*****s"

Loneliness Knows me by Name

Loneliness is always looking for a friend
It found me once and it has been around since then
Loneliness is never waiting by the door
It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored
Why, why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

The love of my life, the love that I need
The love that they say is in life for free
The love of my dreams, the love that I want
Loneliness knows me by name

Loneliness knows everything I keep inside
My endless thoughts in the silence of the night
Loneliness is the one who made me see
Ain't nobody else who can make a change but me
Why, why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

Life is more and that would be the vacant space
The cried out tears and a the never ending maze
I have found what only loneliness provides
A strength within knowing I will find