A Table For 2

why why why

2011-07-03T09:29:00.001-07:00

And again I ask my self this over and over again, what have I accomplish up till now? Why does everyone out there wants to take what's mine or at least I thought was mine. Why can't everyone just find your own? Is it human nature wanting to take something away from others or am I just being stupid?

:(

2011-06-18T07:49:00.001-07:00

Somehow it feels like you are drifting further and further away.

Mistakes

2011-06-09T08:51:00.001-07:00

People make mistakes but I decide to make the worst of them all. Now all I'm left with is pain and sorrows. After going through so much only to realize that I've just cause myself the most important thing in my life. Honestly, it sucks, it sucks big time. It feels like shit and it's hard for me to pretend that I'm ok. Staring into space and thinking about the good old times makes me feel ashamed of myself and honestly I miss you so much. Sometimes I wish I knew better and made the right decision, that way we won't be in this situation and can live happily ever after. I miss you so much :'(

Good bye 2010, hello 2011

2011-01-03T21:40:00.001-08:00

So the year 2010 has come to an end. What have I achieved in that year? Well nothing. Many things had been done and many words had been said in that year. Things that I'm not proud of doing and words that I'm ashamed that I said. So begins the new year, and apparently it's suppose to be my year, the year of the rabbit (according to Chinese zodiac). A new year means a new resolution. But the question is what IS my resolution for this new year? That I have yet to ask myself too. Well, nothing much left to rant about anymore about 2010, all I have to say for now is Happy New Year :)

2010

2010-12-11T04:53:00.001-08:00

The day started out pretty much casual until a phone call came, my thoughts were running wild, beyond my control but somehow I manage to keep myself calm. The night before was great, had friends from Malaysia came down and we had fun at Zouk SG. It was a really great night so far, on of the best since I came to this shit hole. Too bad for me I had to be at work the next day otherwise the fun would have lasted till the next following day. But to my surprise it wasn't all that bad at work today, work load was little, finish the job quite early and highlight of the day, saw someone's foot got crush by a pallets weighing atleast 300kg. It's was totally random for me to be there when it happened. Was on the phone talking to the person I love, all of a sudden some guy just scream so loud and when I turn towards where the voice was coming from I saw a guy on the ground and a few other fellows were helping him to remove the pallets off his feet. Gosh that must have hurt like a bitch. I bet his leg was broken or crush cause he wasn't wearing any safety boots. I know it's kinda ironic but somehow rather I wish that I was that guy under that pallet at that moment....

My Lonely Little Blog

2010-09-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

It really has been a while since i last visited this page. Well i guess i just have nothing much to rant about these days. Maybe i really don't. Even now i don't have anything to rant about in this blog. Been kinda busy with work these few weeks to the extend that i don't have time for myself or to go back home to JB. Yeah i really miss home so much, i miss home cooked food so much but you know what they say "a man got to do what a man got to do" well at least the company is nice enough to give me a box of mooncake which i don't even eat, LOL. Anyways, the job has been alright though, so far so good, no stress or what so ever, just the working schedule kinda sucks. But i can't blame them cause of the flights. Baby has been flying around the world more often now and i hardly get to see her now days but its alright cause thats what she does, thats her job :) Oh ya, and another thing that i'm actually proud about is that amazingly i smoke and consume alcohol wayyyyyyyyy less than i use to :D HORRAY!!!!!! Does it mean that i'm actually changing to be a better person or is it because i'm just sick of smoking and drinking already? hmmm NAH! i don't think so, LOL. Well if everything goes well, by the end of year 2012 i should be able to at least afford to get a place of my own, a place to call MY own house which I bought with MY own hard earn cash! muahahahahahahaha, well i hope i really can achieve it (keeping my fingers crossed), thats all for now i guess, oh yeah here is my new favorite quote "chao outside motherf*****s"

Loneliness Knows me by Name

2010-07-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

Loneliness is always looking for a friend
It found me once and it has been around since then
Loneliness is never waiting by the door
It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored
Why, why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

The love of my life, the love that I need
The love that they say is in life for free
The love of my dreams, the love that I want
Loneliness knows me by name

Loneliness knows everything I keep inside
My endless thoughts in the silence of the night
Loneliness is the one who made me see
Ain't nobody else who can make a change but me
Why, why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

Life is more and that would be the vacant space
The cried out tears and a the never ending maze
I have found what only loneliness provides
A strength within knowing I will find

A New Chapter of My Life

2010-05-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

Its been quite a while since i last written something on this blog. Well wanna know whats new? Here it goes. I got a new job. Yup no more Nasty Inc, no more Jetstar. I left my life in KL, the big city for a new beginning. Now, i got a job with China Airlines (a Taiwanese Company) as a cargo agent. Yeah i know it sounds cool but its not. I'm now based in the land of the Merlion, hell yes! Singapore!!!!

The job is a totally new thing to me, coming from an event base background with no airline or cargo background at all. Its kinda hard at first but i guess i'll get the hang of it soon, well at least i hope so :P
All my colleague erm... well let me put it this way, Majority are old enough to be my father or my grandfather. I'm the youngest in my working environment, so its kinda hard to blend in with them. Right now i'm still under study with my mentor (Eric Lai). One thing for sure, he is a cool old man. He allows me to end my work early and teaches me the short cut way to get things done around there. So far i have nothing to complain about my job except for the shifts. Other than that, everything is pretty OK.

The year 2010 huh? so far, i would say its been a pretty good year for me. Found the love of my life (YES its you Eleen Ang <3), got a pretty decent job, earning in a currency which is higher than ringgit, don't have to pay income tax, so far so good.

Well sometimes i kinda miss my old life, back when i was in KL, the friends in KL, the culture, the fun and laughters but i guess this road that i have now choose is for the better of me. Maybe one day, one fine day i will be successful enough to start something of my own and go back to my homeland, start a family, grow old and enjoy life without having to worry about anything but for now, i'll just have to concentrate on what i have now and appreciate it. Thats all for now, until next post, see ya ;)

I HATE YOU!!!!!

2010-04-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Why must you come back into my life? Why?
I was really happy when you were gone, vanish, out of my life
But now, you came back and just destroyed everything all over again
The pain you put me through is so sickening
Can't you just fuck off forever and ever?
Just "Leave Fu Chao Alone"
It seems like this time i'll just have to take things seriously
Yeah, i'll just have to go seek treatment and get rid of you once and for all
YES! YOU! I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU MY STUPID FUCKING SINUS DISEASE!!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!

I'm Sorry

2010-04-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

I know that we have been arguing alot lately over small stupid things. Some people say that fighting in a relationship makes the relationship stronger. But i'm just not into all this fighting/violence thing. I hate it when people argue (speaking through experience) cause something bad always happens during an argument. I wish i can stop arguing with you my love. I want us to have a healthy and happy relationship. Well i made a promise to myself that from this day onwards i will not argue with my sayang anymore no matter what the issue is about. Sayang, if you are reading this, i want you to know that i'm sorry for all the past arguments that we have had. I love you sayang :)

I MISS YOU

2010-04-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

Dreams

2010-03-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

Lately i have been having lots of weird and bad dreams.
Some of them doesn't make sense, some of them are just fucked up.
What is happening to me?
So many questions yet so little answers
What should i do? sigh.....

2010-02-15T00:44:00.000-08:00

Random Rant

2010-02-09T18:17:00.000-08:00

Sometime, the more you think about it, the more it gets to your mind. As i sit here counting the days go by, i can finally feel that its getting closer and closer. Next thing you know, its just around the corner. People always say that if you love something so much, you got to learn to set it free. Is it really true or is it just a way for them to go without looking back with regrets? It seems that in life, one can't control one's destiny. Some people may say that its all part of THE PLAN, but what plan is it? Who came up with THE PLAN? Can i not follow THE PLAN? Life is kinda sad if you actually think about it. We study so we can get a job. We get a job so we can buy things. We buy things cause we wanna be accepted by society. I guess it finally hit me straight in the face now. Time to wake up and smell the coffee.

The Start Of A New Chapter

2010-01-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

YES! its the year 2010
New year, New Resolution, well thats what most of us say
2009 was quite a bad year for me though
So much has happen..... sigh

This time around, its gonna be different,
This time its gonna be a blast!
This time, i'm gonna take control of my fate!
This time its all out or nothing at all
This time lets see whats gonna happen next!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Here Comes Goodbye

2009-12-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And its not like her to drive that slow, nothings on her radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell

Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye

I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought Id see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play here comes the bride

But here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear Im gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed(d)
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye

Why does it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on, yeah and you're left alone
All alone, but here comes goodbye

Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye

The Walk Back Home

2009-12-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

Today, I got on the wrong bus back home and ended up in some random housing area. My smart ass decides to get down at the nearest bus stop and try to get another bus back home. Looking at the time, my smart ass decides to walk home instead of taking the bus back from some random housing area. It was a 1.5 hour walk back home (yeah i know, kinda stupid of me to do so). While walking back home, i took some time and reflect what have i been doing through out this year and what has happen to me in this year.

Achievement for this year: nothing
Done anything great this year: nothing
What have i learn so far: nothing

NOTHING! thats what i have been doing through out the year, NOTHING!

But then again when i think back, there are actually some interesting events which happened to me this year.

1) Got cheated on
2) Got taken advantage of
3) Got fucking drunk at a club (lol, fucking embarrassed)
4) Broke up
5) Lost a really close friend
6) Quit my job which i sacrifice so much for
7) Found the new love of my life (I LOVE YOU!)
8) Found a new job (starting to love my job ^.^)
9) Something which should not happen, HAPPENED!
10) Something fucked up happen (we shall not talk about it)

Sometimes, the past never fails to haunt me. Just having the thought about it sometimes makes my blood boils, but yet again no one is to blame but myself. But now, i'm starting to feel like i'm the luckiest guy alive because GOD (thank you) send me an angel to be there for me and take care of me. I've learn to not take certain things in life too seriously because sometimes, you'll only end up hurting yourself by doing so. The secret to it, a quote from a movie "life's to short to get pissed off at all the time" (American History X). Hopefully next year will be a better year for me and those around me. To all my friends out there, thank you for sharing your love and care for me, i really appreciate it and may GOD bless you and your family.

My weekends :)

2009-11-16T12:18:00.000-08:00

This is why i love my baby to bits cause every weekend she buys me lunch which comes with a surprise snack, I love you baby!

one of my all time favorite food "chicken rice"
YUM YUM!

and not to forget my all time favorite chocolate "TWIX"

Thanks baby, i <3 you

Best Dinner Ever :)

2009-11-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

I was to touched by what you did for me,
Tears almost rolled out of my eyes,
Honestly from the bottom of my heart,
That was the best dinner that i have had after such a long time,
And for your information ITS FUCKING GOOD!!!!!

Thanks for the wonderful dinner baby <3

The First Time For Everything

2009-11-02T05:25:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day that I didn't get to see my baby, so i decided to make something for her

2009-11-01T01:36:00.000-07:00

Lately i've been starting to feel like i'm truly blessed,
I'm blessed with such good friends (yeah you guys know who you are)
I'm blessed with siblings who care for each other
I'm blessed with the best mother in the world (I LOVE YOU MOM)
I'm blessed with the coolest dad in the world (I LOVE YOU Too DAD)
And the best part, I'm blessed with such a lovely girlfriend who is such an angel (Yes! you)
Come to think of it, I'm actually happy with the way my life is now and couldn't wish for anything more. :)

The Adventures of Abdominal Boy and his sidekick Princess Steve

2009-10-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

So finally Abdominal Boy has left on a long journey to pursue for his dreams.
Suddenly its just feels so empty and quiet.
All those football matches that we use to watch together,
All those times when we use to kill the opposing team together(dota/cs),
All those shouting while playing badminton, futsal and squalipington (combination of squash, ping pong, volley ball, badminton),
All those songs that we use to sing along with the ipod,
All those car accident that we use to chase after,
All those fun times we use to spend together has finally come to an end.
Now its time for you to go forward and do us all proud.
Sorry for all the wrongs that i did to you and thanks for being such a good friend all this while, you will go far in life my brother.
The Adventures of Abdominal Boy and his sidekick Princess Steve has come to an end (for now).
So long my dear friend Daryl, may GOD always bless you and your family.

2009-10-23T05:15:00.000-07:00

Its been quite a while since i last felt such happiness.
Happiness, i would say is the best thing in the world,
The ultimate gold in one's life
The cure for all diseases,
The best that anyone could get.
These pass few months has been quite intense for me,
Taking those few months off to find my inner self,
To find out who i really am and what am i capable of,
After doing some soul searching i finally found what i really needed,
LOVE.....
Everyone needs love, it brings out the real you
It brings out the laughter and joy that is kept deep down inside of you.
It doesn't matter what type of love or who it is from,
As long as love still exist inside a person, there is hope

2009-10-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

If love comes your way,
Don't be afraid, don't turn away from it,
Unlock the box your heart's encased,
Let roam freely like a marching parade,
What we have is great,
I hope it wont change,
Don't stop now i beg....
If I can be saved,
Please show me the way,
Help me help myself before its too late,
Yeah I know I'm not good enough.....

Langkawi

2009-10-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

Just came back from my trip to Langkawi with the coolest and most fun friends i have.
Only one word for Langkawi, awsome!
The sun, the sand, the sea, the booze, the music, the people
Sigh i just love!
But sad to say it was a farewell trip for a friend of mine,
A good friend, a brother, a family member,
All i have to say to you is that "what ever i have done wrong to you in the past, i'm really sorry, i wish you all the best and i hope we do keep in touch, i'm going to miss you my brother (66D)"
Fro Bro For LIFE!!!!

2009-09-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

LANG FUCKING KAWI!!!!!!!
HERE I COME, WOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

2009-09-10T12:34:00.000-07:00

I guess its finally time that i made up my mind on what to do next.
After such a long thought, reflecting back what have i done so far in life, still i'm going back to basic. Back to the books, assignments and exams.
YES! back to college.
Someone once told me "you are never too old to go back to studying" i guess its true.
Its been a blast taking such a long time off studying, working several different jobs, meeting new people, having a taste of the working life, no doubt its a tough life.
Everytime i think about it, the more it makes me wanna go back to studying.
Life as a student is so much more fun and easy compare to a working life.
Those who are reading this post, if you are still studying, my advice to you is do it all the way.
Enjoy it to the max while you can, don't be in a rush to grow up cause there is no turning back.

2009-09-09T00:19:00.000-07:00

time sure passes by damn fast,
very soon it will be 2010,
sigh..... just another year

2009-08-20T11:35:00.000-07:00

It seems like only yesterday we were all newly introduced to each other,
But for that short period of time, it feels like we have known each other for the rest of our life,
You guys were always there for me, stood by me, supporting each other
A family we were, a family we will always be,
Good Luck Guys and all the best!
See you guys again in the near future.

2009-08-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

I gave it all i could but its not enough,
Well i guess this would be my last goodbye
All those promises i broke,
All those hearts that i shattered,
All those tears i made you cried,
All those time i made you wasted,
All those pain i made you feel,
My journey with you has to come to an end,
A piece of my heart, you will still be,
Forever and ever

2009-08-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

If only the words could come out of my mouth,
If only i have the courage to approach you,
If only i could give you a shoulder to lean onto,
If only i could..... but i can't.

2009-08-02T11:33:00.000-07:00

This sucks! why do people have to take something which doesn't belong to them?
Why do people have to make life difficult for others?
Why must people say things to make others feel like shit?
Why why why?

2009-07-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

Waiting, waiting, and still waiting.....
Hoping that one day, one fine day it will come to me

2009-07-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

WOW! I'm getting older, time sure flies really fast. Oh well, thats life......

2009-07-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright if there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me I'm the one to blame.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Just another fragment of life

2009-07-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

Well, its all over now for me, after a long, committed and sacrificial phase, it all came crumbling down like an avalanche. All the trust, hopes, cares and love have all gone to waste just by one stupid mistake, thats right ONE STUPID MISTAKE!

Now, i admit that its not easy to start all over again, i don't know how to love anymore, don't know how to care anymore, don't know how to trust anymore, don't know what to feel anymore. I'm just so numb now.

Friends who were there for me, i would like to take this opportunity to say thanks for the support. You guys keep telling me to move on and find a new ONE but the problem is that i'm afraid, afraid that it will all happen again, afraid of getting hurt again.

Everyday i look back at the scar, it seems like its going deeper and deeper. The best part, there is nothing i can do to get rid of it. Maybe its because i don't want to get rid of it, maybe its because i want to remember it, maybe i still want to remember about you, maybe just maybe deep down inside of me, i still have feelings for you. Maybe, just maybe.

No Money, No Honey....

2008-07-29T08:32:00.000-07:00

Every beginning has an end, what ever that starts always must have an ending to it. Things are not meant to left hanging unfinished, just like what my grandmother always use to say to me; "jor mee kia ai hu tao hu buae" (in hokkien) direct translation means do things must have head and must have tail. What she meant was if you start something make sure you finish it all the way. After almost a year of bumming i'm finally going to continue what every parents want their child to do, studying again. Honestly after such a long break from studying i don't feel like getting back into studying. Sigh FYI i'm only doing this for my parents and for my grandmother sake, studying i meant. Life is so dull and boring. Everyone is studying for only one sole purpose, to make more money $$$$$$$$. I guess money really does make the world go round. Thats the only way i can have enough money to buy all the things that i want.

Education = -$$$$, Education = +$$$$

If money was unlimited for me, oh boy! the things i'll buy........$$$$$$$
Sigh what a sad place this world has become today.

Actually there are still a whole list of things that i want..... wakakakakaka

2008-05-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

weird how something or someone who once you care for, loved, trusted can just easily give up hope on you......

2008-05-03T11:43:00.001-07:00

alone in the world without a friend
alone without some one to talk to
alone with your self
alone with no one else
alone without a care
alone with so much pain to bare
alone because there no one to
share yous secrets with no one
to share a sundae with

ichiban!!!!!!

2007-08-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

tonight is the night i first start to blog and ichiban with my housemate/bro/collegemate/friend/ex-workmate/drinking partner/smoking partnet/mamak kaki

don't know what else to write....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
well thats all folks..... fuck off!!!!